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Holiday Jokes

18 jokes

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12 Days of Halloween

THE 12 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN (Sung to the tune of The 12 Days of Christmas) On the twelfth day of Hallo...

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Advent Calendar Explanation

If you haven't already done so, it's time to go out and buy an advent calender. In case you don't kn...

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Annoying Santa (Setup)

There are many ways to annoy Santa Claus. The question is... Why would somebody want to do it? Does ...

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Annoying Santa: Diet Note

1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could sta...

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Annoying Santa: Holiday Showdown

5. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big...

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Annoying Santa: Plant Care

3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind waterin...

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Annoying Santa: Reindeer Swap

4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what hap...

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Annoying Santa: Snowmen Protest

6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," an...

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Annoying Santa: Speeding Ticket

2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.

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Christmas Phrase Translator

How do you say... "Sorry, I ate the tree tinsel" "Meet me under the mistletoe" ...

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Christmas Tree Debate

CONTROVERSY: Should the tree be real or fake? YUPPIE: Live tree, planted after use MALE: Fake tree, ...

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Great Pumpkin is Coming to Town

GREAT PUMPKIN IS COMIN' TO TOWN (Sung to the tune Santa Claus is Coming to Town) Oh, you better not...

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Halloween Night

'Twas Halloween night as I leaped from my bed, With thoughts of amusement going through my head. Tur...

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Holiday Do's and Don'ts

Running aluminum foil through a paper shredder at Kinko's to make tinsel is discouraged. Playing Ji...

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Naughty List Plea

"You know, I could get you off Santa's 'naughty' list!"

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Santa's Christmas Recount

This is Santa and I just wanted to let you know that Christmas may be a little late this year. See a...

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Tree Lights Debate

CONTROVERSY: Should tree lights twinkle or stay constant? YUPPIE: Each bulb blinks to its own random...

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Tree Topper Debate

CONTROVERSY: Should tree be topped with an angel or a star? YUPPIE: Gender-neutral angel; no submiss...

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