A List of Random Thoughts

- Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

- One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

- One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

- To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.

- Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

- The older you get, the better you realize you were.

- I doubt, therefore I might be.

- Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

- Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

- Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

- Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

- A fool and his money are soon parting.

- Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?

- Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

- Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

- If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

- If God dropped acid, would he see people?

- If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

- If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? (That's a rhetorical question! LOL)

- If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

- If you're born again, do you have two belly buttons?

- If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?

- If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

- Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?