Pun Jokes

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A Day Without Sunshine

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

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Amber Lamps and Tow Trucks

If I ever need amber lamps really quickly...

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American in the Kitchen.

Q. If you are American in the kitchen - what are you in the bathroom? A. European.

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Antique Desk for Sale

For Sale: Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

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Atheism Definition

Atheism: a non-prophet organization.

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Baby ducks.

Q. Why do baby ducks walk softly? A. Because baby ducks can't walk, hardly.

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Bike's tiredness.

Q. Why couldn't the bike make it up the hill? A. Because it was "two" tired!

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Bikini Ad

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

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Bill and Al's Economic Contribution

Gore's correct. We do owe our economy to Bill and Al: Bill Gates and Allen Greenspan.

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Blinker Fluid

Sally told her friend, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved wh...

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Blonde and the Headphones

A blonde walks into a beauty salon to get a haircut with headphones on. The hairdresser asks her to ...

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Blue Jays and Birthdays

Blue Jays and Birthdays. Blue Jays ain't blue, and you won't go to jail singing "Happy Birthday"--as...

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Bottom Deodorant

The blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a...

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Bra Types

A man walks into the woman's section of a department store and tells the sales clerk he wants to buy...

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Brown Paper Jake's Crime

A sheriff walks into a saloon and shouts for everyone's attention. "Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jake...

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Buffalo Chips

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty!

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Bumped into Table

I bumped into a coffee table. -- Ai Bang Mai Ni

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Burnt Bread Hater

What do you call someone who really hates burnt bread?

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Cannibal Clown

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says...

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Capital City

A teacher asked one of her pupils, "What's the nation's capital?" The reply was, "Washington DC." Af...

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Captain's Secret

You can't go to the bank today - it's Columbus Day. If Columbus came to you for financing for a trip...

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Car Accident

Some guy hit my fender, and I said to him, "Be fruitful and multiply"; but not in those words.

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Carrying a Clock

A well-off young man was moving from one street to another, a few streets away. Observing with dism...

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Catching a Unique Rabbit

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

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Change in the Weather

Q. Why did the lady go outdoors with her purse open? A. Because she expected some change in the weat...

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Chicken Coop Joke

Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.

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Chicken Gestation Joke

What do scientists use to measure a chicken's gestation period?

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Christopher Robin Hood

Christopher Robin Hood steals from the rich and gives to the Pooh.

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Circus in tents.

Q. Why is the Ringling Brothers circus so mind-boggling? A: Because it's in tents!

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Concorde Crash Cause

The cause for the fiery crash of the Air France Concorde has been determined. The tires were made by...

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Constipated Mathematician

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

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Courtroom Injury

A hush fell over the courtroom, injuring six.

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Cow in the North Pole: Eski-moo

What do you call a cow in the North Pole?

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Cowhide Purpose

What's the greatest world-wide use of cowhide?

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Czech Eye Exam

An immigrant from Czechoslovakia went to an eye doctor for a checkup. The doctor started with some ...

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Detective's Farming Venture

A detective who spent his entire career in plain clothes quit the police force and bought a farm. "...

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Dinosaur Accident

Q. What do you call two dinosaurs who've been in an accident? A. Tyrannosaurs wrecks.

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Double-Barking

A renown plant pathologist was called in to determine why a group of trees in a particular forest we...

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Drums, Cymbals, and a Rimshot

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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Drunk Woman's Address Confusion

Two police officers saw this old woman staggering down the street, stopping her they can tell she ha...

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Dwarfs Aren't All Happy

A little known fact...

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Ear Piercing Deal

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home too!

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Eddie the Egg's Arrest

Last night, Eddie the Egg was arrested by police and taken to headquarters for questioning. He's con...

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Farmer's Wheat and the Dam

Just to be different, a farmer in Holland decided to plant wheat one year instead of tulips. While h...

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Football Game Punchline

Did you hear the joke about the football game with the 0-0 score?

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Frog's Lives

Q. What has more lives than a cat? A. A frog. It croaks every night.

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Froggy Time

Q. What did one frog say to the other? A. Time's sure fun when you're having flies!

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Frosty's Cereal

What is Frosty's favorite breakfast cereal?

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Frosty's Medicine: A Chill Pill

What does Frosty the Snowman take when he gets sick?

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Frosty's Money

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money?