Man in Heaven and Hell

A man dies and wakes up in a beautiful place !! Wow, I made it to Heaven, he thinks. There was streets of Gold and children playing with the lions. All was peaceful and tranquil. "I can't believe it, I was pretty bad, but oh well, there mistake, not mine"., so he walks down the streets of Gold and starts visiting with the other good souls. No finer people were ever with someone. My it was wonderful.
One month later the man is getting a little restless, he starts to miss his ole poker buddies, so he goes to an Angel with his problem. The Angel quickly points him to the card tables where they are playing GO FISH AND RUMMY. Oh well, he thinks, at least it's cards.
After a while, he starts missing his drinking buddies, so again, he goes to the angel. This time she tells him to see St Peter. He tells him to go see the Catholics, they'll fix him up. So he goes to the catholics and starts drinking with him, but it only makes him more joyous and tranquil. Not fired up like the good ole days.
Two weeks later he's craving some action !! Even a problem would be welcome, just anything for a break , so he goes to see St Peter. This time he directs him to the Lord, not sure of what to do.
What's the problem? asked the Lord.
"Look, it's really nice the way you've let me stay here and all, knowing what kind of guy I was, but really I don't deserve it. Maybe I should just go to hell after all, it's just too quiet and peaceful here", the guy says.
And with that, Jesus looked at the man and smiled and said "And where do you think you are?"