Work Jokes

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Accomplishing the Impossible

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

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Accounting and Headstands

"Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"

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Airplane Three-Sixty

The controller, working a busy pattern, told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (do a complet...

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Anchor Strategy

A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. "What would you do if a...

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Army Private's Employer

An Army private filling out a questionnaire for a correspondence course was stymied by the question,...

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Associate's Poor Performance

"This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."

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Auto Repair Service

Auto Repair Service: Try us once -- you'll never go anywhere else again.

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Banker's Employee's Future

A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. ...

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Bartender Fired Instead of Waitress

The boss at the pub went up to the bartender and asked, "Have you been fooling around with the waitr...

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Beatings and Morale

Attention: The beatings will continue until morale improves!

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Becoming a Real Man

A university is offering a new degree: Becoming a Real Man. This degree is earned in just six trimes...

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Bible Salesman's Secret

A sales company has particular trouble selling Bibles in their location. They are always looking for...

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Billing the Client

1. "It's okay... I'm still billing the client."

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Blackjack Tipping

A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not ...

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Blonde Staffer's New Duties

"Blonde In Service" As a result of an internal investigation, one of the Duty Officer's stunning, b...

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Boeing Employees and the Raft

It seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the field decided to steal a life raft from one o...

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Boss and the Sign

My boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later t...

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Boss vs. Battery

Question: What is the difference between a boss and a battery? Answer: A battery has a positive side...

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Boss's Sign Joke

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Late...

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Boss's Unexpected Return

20. "I thought you [boss] were gone for the day."

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Bowling Ball in Trunk

My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound when going ar...

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Bowling Ball in the Trunk

An auto mechanic received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corn...

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Broken Radio

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an Old Indian went up to the director and sa...

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Bus Driver's Commendation

One snowy Saturday, Jerry was having coffee with his friend Matt, a city bus driver. "What's new at ...

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Busy Businessman and the Phone Installer

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it furnish...

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Carpenter's Precise Measurement

A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed. The judge asked him how far away...

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Carpentry Humor

While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor c...

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Carpet Shopping

Knapp works at a carpet store. Judi came in once and said, "I don't want any artificial products lik...

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Casual Day Memos

Memo No. 1: Effective immediately, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day so that employees ...

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Casual Dress Code

Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, my friend trains employees...

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Certificate Count

Janelle caught up with Judi at a McDonald's after she'd quit the airport restaurant. She was going t...

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Chef School Excuse

The blonde man was crying at the bar, and the bartender gave him a free drink. "What's the trouble?...

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Chinese Businessman's Golf Experience

There was this Chinese businessman visiting a newly acquired business in the United States. As a ges...

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Christmas Party Aftermath

You wake up hung over, with a black eye and barked knuckles. Your wallet is missing, and you're in j...

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Cleaning Service

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it!

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Coffee and Confidentiality

While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer....

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Cold Medicine Effects

15. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

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Company Slogans

A professor was giving a lecture on company slogans in a college advertising and marketing class. "...

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Company's New Benefits

Notice to Employees (Includes Part Time Workers) SICKNESS We will no longer accept your doctors' s...

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Computer Breakdown

The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted. ...

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Computer Class Coffee Spill

Officers were being lectured about a new computer. The instructor said the computer was able to with...

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Constant Supervision Required

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

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Construction Foreman's Fall

My son Earl is a construction foreman. One day he tumbled from a scaffold, managing to break his fal...

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Contractor's Complaint

A building contractor was being paid by the week for a job that was likely to stretch over several m...

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Contractor's Mistake