Skipper Knows Everyone

Skipper was the most well-liked guy in the office, and seemed to know everyone at all the parties.

The boss, struggling to stump him, decided to test Skipper. "Hey, Skipper," he said, "Brad Pitt's filming his latest movie in town." "Brad?" he said. "We were buddies in college! Haven't seen him in a while." So the two drive downtown. Pitt recognizes Skipper as soon as they arrive at the set, excuses the interruption, and even invites Skipper to join him later for lunch. The boss is piqued. He says, "Tell you what... let's get a flight to Washington this weekend." Skipper is waved through to tour the White House, and sure enough, he finds his way to the President, who greets him warmly. "Skipper!" says the President. "I've got a busy schedule, but I can take a minute for a cup of coffee." Skipper finishes off his cup and says to the boss, "Anyone else you can think of?" The boss says, "Alright, forget it. Do you know the Pope?" So later, Skipper and his boss are assembled with a huge crowd in St. Peter's Square. Skipper says, "He's supposed to come out soon, but he'll never see me way down here. I'll just go tell the guards, and they'll let me through upstairs." So he starts making his way through the crowd. A half-hour later, to the astonishment of his boss, Skipper emerges on the balcony, shakes the Pope's hand, and waves to the crowd. When he comes back down, he finds his boss on a stretcher being lifted into an ambulance, apparently having suffered a heart attack. "Oh my god!" he says. "What happened?" The boss croaks, "Well... I was doing fine until you got up there, and the guy in front of me turned around and said, 'Who's that old guy on the balcony with Skipper?'"