Observational Jokes

6-pack with no carrier

"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

A Book About Failure

If you write a book about failure and it doesn't sell, is it a success?

A Cat's Directional Preferences

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

A Compilation of Quotes and Anecdotes

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marij...

A Day's Frustrations

A List of Random Thoughts

- Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things. - One tequila, two tequila, three ...

A Mother's Day Story

"I can't believe that the whole family will be coming over for Mother's Day dinner," Sarah thought t...

A No Picnic

3. Picnic -------------------------------------------------------------------- The service area was ...

A Notice About Notices

PLEASE NOTICE: You may have noticed the increased amount of notices for you to notice. Some of our n...

A Philosophical Lament

Thoughts are jammed. I try to ram them into some action. All my hammering produces no stir. They lie...

A Plea for Reconciliation

Queues of friends who don't wish to talk to me anymore have become really long. My dear God, why are...

A Poem About a UNIX Man

He's a real UNIX man Sitting in his UNIX LAN Making all his UNIX plans For nobody. Knows the blocks...

A Quiz with Instructions

A Sissy

"Just because I've got bells on my shoes, doesn't mean I'm a sissy."

A Slight Change of Scenery

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear in the Hollywood Cafe. Inst...

A Smile's Impact

Give a child a smile today, you may change the world.

A Y2K Bug Poem

'Twas the night before Y2K, and all through the nation We awaited "The Bug", The Millennium sensatio...

A list of rules and sayings.

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not ...

AI vs. Stupidity

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

AOL Definition

Brandi with Hotmail I just signed up and everything and read your FAQ, and I was wondering how do I ...

AOL User Complains

frmfriend with AOL I AM NOT QUITE SURE I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HATE AOL USERS. I AM AN AOL USER AND I A...

AOL User Threats

Merici1 with AOL Don't send me this stuff or I will report you and you will lose your account....GOT...

Absence, Anti-Gravity, Relativity

If absence makes the heart grow fonder, some people must really love church. I am reading a very in...

Accidents and Sleep

Accidents do happen, especially to those who are asleep at the wheel.

Achieving Greatness

Nothing great was ever achieved without ENTHUSIASM!

Actuary and Bomb on Plane

An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that the...

Adding a Twist to a Common Saying

You know the old saying... "All work and no play makes Jeffy toast!" O.K., I sort of added my own li...

Adjusting Carpets

December 10: Align carpets to adjust for the curvature of the Earth.

Aerobics Hamstring

Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Affair and the Marathon

Running in the Marathon (funny Joke)

Age Consideration

15 - I would consider it to be old enough

Age and Beauty

"I notice that every birthday, a larger percentage of the world's female population become young and...

Agreeing to Pay

- You get this one, and I'll pay next time.

Airline Meal Choices

It was mealtime during our trip on a small airline in the Northwest. "Would you like dinner?" the fl...

Airlines and the Dead Animal

Tower: "Delta 702, cleared for takeoff, contact departure on 124." Delta 702: "Tower, Delta 702 swi...

Alabama Troopers' Time Zone Problem

Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro east on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect cross...

Alarmist Security System

The guy installing the new security system said we should upgrade because of the increasing crime ra...

Alien Abductions

If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on...

All Nighter

An "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!

Alternative Monday Night Football

8. The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different C...

Amanpreet's Water-Walking Secret

Amanpreet heard a rumor that his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather had all walked on water ...

Amanpreet's misunderstanding about Europe.

RP is one of my readers in France working for a small University there. One of the scholars had fini...

American Contradictions

We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down p...

American Couple's Misunderstanding

When their train stopped briefly at a large station house in Canada, an American couple traveling cr...

American Irony

"A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vot...

American vs. European Perspective

A European says, "I can't understand this, what's wrong with me?" An American says, "I can't unders...

Amish Carriage Humor

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage ob...

Amish Carriage Sign

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage o...

Anniversary of a Car Accident

Gee, this is the anniversary of when I hit a parked tree.

Anonymous Threat

"Uh Oh!" said an ardent young man reading a letter. His friend, standing near him, said, "Bad news?"...