Puns Jokes

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24-Hour Cleaning Service

A traveling salesman was passing through a rural town in Vermont and decided to take a little time o...

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A Collection of Short Jokes

Q. What happens when you run in front of a car? A. You get tired! Q. What do you get from a forgetf...

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A Collection of Short Jokes and Puns

Do you know why God created man first? Because he didn't want any advice! At the annual snail race,...

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A Dad's Puns About School

Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $t...

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A Dark Pun

It's very dark in here. -- Wai So Dim?

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A Day Without Sunshine

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

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A Diet Observation

I thought you were on a diet. -- Wai Yu Mun Ching?

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A Flight Delay Question

Has your flight been delayed? -- Hao Long Wei Ting?

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A Hug

A hug goes a long way. ( ) Consider yourself hugged!

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A List of Slogans and Puns

10. If This Goat Cart's a Rockin', Don't Come a Knockin' 9. If You Ain't MOSLEM, You Ain't SHIITE ...

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A Not-So-Bright Observation

You are not very bright. -- Yu So Dum

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A Parking Reminder

This is a tow away zone. -- No Pah King

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A Pun About Dirty Birds

Fowl jokes? Those dirty birds!

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A Punny Name

I think you need a facelift. -- Chin Tu Fat

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A Simple Question About Children

Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls?

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A Spelling Checker Poem

Eye halve a spelling chequer. It came with my pea sea. It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks ...

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Abstract Noun

"An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can yo...

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Address Labels

Q: What's sticky and makes paying your bills easier?

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Age Evasion

Nurse: How old are you? Patient: None of your business. Nurse: But the doctor must know your age for...

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Airport Turnstile

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

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Algorithm Punchline

Algorithm

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Alphabet Grenade Wordplay

Beware of alphabet grenades...

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American Pizza in Japan

An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the...

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An Unauthorized Execution

That was an unauthorized execution. -- Lin Ching

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Answering Machine's Instructions

"Thank you for calling Adventures in Telephoning Unlimited. "If you wish to leave a message for Bi...

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Anteater Anty-bodies Joke

Q. Why don't anteaters get sick? A. Because they're full of anty-bodies!

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Ants and the Dotted Line

Two ants were running across the top of a cracker box when one stopped and said, "Why are we running...

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Apartments

Why are they called "apart-ments" when they are all stuck together?

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Apple-Eating Horse

Q. What do you call a horse that eats apples?

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Apt Pupil Pun

"Apt Pupil" turned into "Apartment Pupil"

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Archer and Gift-Wrapper Pun

Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper? Answer: Ribbon hood.

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Aristotle on Chicken Crossing

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

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Astronauts and Mistletoe

If athletes get athlete's foot, then what do astronauts get?

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Astronauts' Ailment

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

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Astronomy and Religion

A theologian and an astronomer were talking together one day. The astronomer said that after reading...

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Atheism Pun

Atheism

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Attitude Equation

A = 1 T = 20 T = 20 I = 9 T = ...

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Austin Powers Movie Title Puns

"Austin Powers, The Spy Who Shagged Me" became "Austin Flowers, The Spy Who Bagged Me"

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Baker's Garden

Q. What kind of garden does a baker have?

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Barenaked Ladies Band Joke

You know right away the band "Barenaked Ladies" is from Canada because if they were from Georgia, th...

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Bass Drum Pun

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

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Bathroom Instrument

What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

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Bed Pun

Q: Have you heard the one about the bed? A: Of course not, it has not been made yet.

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Beer-Biceps Instead of Beer-Belly

9. Instead of "beer-belly," you'd get "beer-biceps."

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Bees and Rain Joke

Q. Can bees fly in the rain? A. Not without their little yellow jackets.

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Bike's Tiredness

Why can't bikes stand up without leaning on something?

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Birkenstock Barbie

Birkenstock Barbie: Finally, a Barbie doll with horizontal feet and comfortable sandals. Made from r...

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Bittern Tongue Twister

A bitter biting bittern Bit a better brother bittern, And the bitter better bittern Bit the bitter b...

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Blessed are the Flexible

Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

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Blind Guy and 'I'

You hear about the blind guy on Wheel of Fortune?